Not gonna sleep
by Little-Firestar84
Summary: As he opens his eyes, a daughter in his arms, and a beatiful wife kissing him sweetly, Patrick Jane decides he will never fall asleep again, because if it's all a dream, he doesn't want to wake up any longer. Jisbon cowritten with PetiteJ!
1. Chapter 1

Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just **_"write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed bu the light of reason..." _**(No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one fo the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).

The prompt for this story was given to me by petitej, but, then, with lack of time oand inspiration, we ended up with her suggesting plots and lines, and me adding a bit of my own, so, we can say we wrote it together... :) hope you'll enjoy and will review it!

* * *

1.

As he still refuses to open his eyes, feeling like he had just slept for the longest time, quite an unusual sensation for him, Patrick Jane isn't sure what made him abandon the land of Morpheus, if the noisy sunlight coming from the semi closed blinds, or the small body that keeps jumping on his chest. Moaning his disapproval, he wonders what the hell a dog is doing jumping on his chest, but, then, something hits him. Last time he checked, dogs don't giggle, meaning, it's a human being, a small human being, who's responsible for his imminent lack of sleep – then, it hit him.

He doesn't remember going to bed. He is not sure what he was doing, but he is quite sure he wasn't in a bed- his last memory is tricking a killer called Warren Worthington into confessing the murder of his wife, and having an argument with Lisbon about how to get evidences. He is quite sure he was supposed to do something important after that, and he has the strange feeling that Lisbon was somehow involved, has been in danger even, but, right now, his mind doesn't seem to want to collaborate, and his brain still refuses to tell him how the hell he ended there, shirtless, with just his pajama pants on.

And the "there" is problem number two; even still at closed eyes, he can say that it's definitely not the bed of his place in Sacramento or the mattress of the Malibu home, but it's worm, comfortable (and not just physically), it smells of cinnamon (just like Lisbon, exactly like Lisbon did that time they danced together. The memory of the scent of her hair is impressed in his memory, burned there, like the feeling of having her in his arms, something he thought couldn't be possible) and, somehow, it's familiar. It can't be a hospital bed, either, of that much he is sure – the comfort and the smell are all wrong, besides, no hospital in the Sacramento area wants him there after the treatment they get from him.

The, curiosity gets the better of him, and slowly and reluctantly, he opens his eyes, just to find in front of himself what he can describe with a word and a word only – **_a vision._**

The first thing he notices are the bright, happy, curious and lively blue eyes (definitely somehow familiar), eyes of someone smart; someone who tends to gets into troubles and enjoys it a lot.

"Hello princess" he ruffles her hair, smiling at the child, a few years old girl who's hugging him, her small arms around his neck, using his chest like a comfortable pillow, like he was part of her life right from the day she was born, and her reaction are more giggles and a shy smile while sucks her thumb, but not a real shy smile, but that kind of smile the kids do when they want to pretend being shy but, truth to be told, that just would like to scream "I'm in need of your full attention".

And then it's when Jane's brain finally decides to cooperate, even if just a little, and behaves like the brain of the mentalist he is.

He recognizes her features, her nose, her lips, her chin; he recognizes her long, dark, wavy hair.

But, above all, he recognizes, finally, his surroundings, and he really can't understand how he could have missed it: the room may have changed a bit since last time he has been there, but he really doesn't need to look for documents or pictures to know where he is, at Lisbon's. _That's great. _So, now, he just has to wonder what he has done the previous evening, how he ended up in Lisbon's bed in just pajama pants with her niece jumping on his chest, because, even if that familiar blue eyes don't belong to the senior agent, there's no denying the two of them are related. Actually, the child in his arms is so similar to Teresa Lisbon that she could be or her copy in miniature with blue eyes, or, maybe, if he didn't know it any better, her…

"Jess, what did I tell you?" As it often happens with him as well, the first thing that alerts him of Lisbon's presence is her voice, her shouting, and only few seconds later she approaches the door of the room, and if he thought "Jess" was a vision, he really doesn't know what to say, or to do, about this- besides idiotically and dumbly staring at open mouth, wide eyes, like he is doing right now.

As he sees her standing at the door, hands on her hips, lifted eyebrows, annoying and annoyed as always (even if not with him, for a change) breathing, alive and well, jumping, he quickly puts the child on the bed (getting a sound if disapproval from Jess), and runs to Lisbon, hugging her, taking her in his arms, lifting her in the air, making her giggle- Lisbon, giggling!

"Lisbon, you are fine! I'm so happy to see you! You can't imagine how glad I am to be… - Patrick doesn't end the sentence, but, again with open mouth, wide eyes, staring at her like an idiot, he lets it go of her and puts a few inches of distance between the two of them, enough to be still close, but not too close, and, uncomfortably, he gesticulates, indicating the space between the two of them – Is that… you are wearing… I don't remember giving you my shirt to use it as a nightgown!"

"Jane – she hisses scandalized, almost whispers so that Jess couldn't hear them, hitting him on the shoulders, like the Lisbon he knows and platonically loves (_because that's what I feel for her_, he mentally repeats to himself, _I just have platonic feelings for my boss_) finally something making sense, something normal, something usual he can deal with – what are you thinking? How many times do I have to remember you that you can't act as a horny teenager when she is around?"

Horny teenager… Last time he has checked, Lisbon just tells him to not be an idiot, to not break in people's houses, to be polite with other officers and lawyers and judges, to not hypnotize people, to not steal evidences, to not keep secrets, to not seduce widows, and, even if "not being an horny teenager" is quite close to "stop seducing the widows", he is quite sure that those exacts words have never left Lisbon's lips, ever.

"Mummy, can we go to the zoo now?" Jess says enthusiastically, a bit like he does when he gets things the way he wants them to, playing with the hem of his shirt-or her nightgown. _Mummy… Lisbon's her mummy? Where was I when she adopted this child? Because I'd know if she was pregnant, so she has to have adopted her niece. Weird, I didn't remember her mentioning one of her brothers being dead…._

"Jess, the zoo will not be open for another couple of hours. - She answers, smiling, ruffling the child's hair, just like Jane has done few minutes before, making him smile, proud of her, taken by the marvelous scene he is witnessing – besides, our birthday girl needs to get ready and have breakfast first, if she doesn't want to spend all her time at the restaurant with uncle Wayne!"

_Mmm, quite interesting, looks like the team knows about this girl, if the Wayne with an exaggerated passion for food is the Wayne I know as well… but, how can it be possible? Rigsby can't keep a secret, if Lisbon had a daughter and he knew, I'd found it out by now…_

"But you said that once daddy was up we could go!" _Daddy, wait, she really said daddy? Lisbon has a boyfriend… nope, if the wedding band or her left ring finger indicates something, is that things are a lot worse, because it's not a boyfriend she is having, but a husband… a husband…and she has a child with him? Why didn't they tell me about it? People are supposed to tell me everything! Well, one thing is sure; this Jess kid knows how to convince her mum. Normally, the kind of eyes Jess is doing make Lisbon does everything I want…._

"Of course I said that, honey, - she sweetly answers her daughter patting her hair- but only because your dad had the alarm set for half past eight. Waking him up by jumping on his chest wasn't exactly part of our plan, right?" _Nope, apparently I'm the only one who gets away with that look, even if I'm not sure about her daughter's manners. She should teach Jess to not wake people up this way… first her dad, then me, she is definitely a bit impolite!_

"Daddy, are you weird because the bad guy hurt you?" _daddy, she called me daddy. She said I'm her daddy, she said I'm her father, but… I'd know if I had a child with Lisbon, right? _

"C'mon Jess, dad's used to it, he got hurt so many times by bad guys he turned invulnerable! – as Lisbon says so, the child, somehow more relaxed, again smiling happy, runs away, in direction of what he knows is the bathroom, and, as soon as Jess is out of the room, Lisbon turns to face him again; as she cups his face with her hands, she trembles, and he has never seen her so vulnerable and scared, not even when she had been framed for murder - Patrick, the doctor said you were supposed to come back to the hospitals if…"

"I hate hospitals" he whispers at closed eyes, breathing in her scent, trying to fix in his memory, to treasure it for when he'll wake up-because it's too good to be true, so it has to be a dream.

"I know you do, and they hate you as well, but, honey, Stellar hit you pretty hard…"

"Yeah, stellar, he hit me. Right, of course, well, how could I not know, I was there."

"Are you sure you are all right?" and now, she is back to his old Lisbon, because he knows those eyes, those rolled emerald eyes, those are her eyes when she tries to understand what kind of stunts he is pulling and how she could damage control it, and he can't help but grin, even if only internally, because the façade is all, and there's a soul in the world who knows it better than him.

"Time flies, that's all" he breaths, opening his eyes again, smiling at Lisbon, hands in the pockets of his pants. _Well, at least I'm still a good actor…_

"Yeah, I can't believe she is already turning 4! It seems yesterday we got married! - she smiles happy, as happy as never before (even happier than the time with the pony, and she was a way happy back then, when he got it for her birthday), throwing her arms around his neck, her lips against his naked chest, allowing him to make his chin rest on her forehead – you know, when you looked at me before, for a moment I thought you had forget the last 5 years during the night!"

He doesn't answer her, he simply kisses her hair, sweetly, and smiling the best smile he can ménage right now, and when she gives him a peck on the lips, hurrying then outside the room looking for Jess, repeating again to get dressed because Jess is definitely in a hurry and can't wait to go to the zoo, he has to fight the urge to cry, or to take her in his arms and never let it go, because there are just few things Patrick Jane is now aware of.

First: he still doesn't understand what the hell happened. He has few theories, and few of them, he even refuses to admit he thought of them in the first place, because amnesia and dreams he can deal with, but time travels, parallel dimensions or out of body experiences, are another pair of sleeves.

Second: apparently, he is married with his boss, Teresa Lisbon, has a child, Jess, with her, and he still works for the CBI (and eh seems to still posses the ability of getting into troubles as well).

Third: there's no way he'll hurt Teresa or Jessie admitting he doesn't know anything at all about the last five years.

But there's something he doesn't know as well, he realizes as he opens the wardrobe and stares at it in shock like it was some kind of unknown creature came from nowhere. "Where the hell are all my three pieces suits and my brown shoes? This thing is full of jeans and tennis shoes!"


	2. Chapter 2

Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just **_"write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed bu the light of reason..." _**(No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one fo the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).

The prompt for this story was given to me by petitej, but, then, with lack of time oand inspiration, we ended up with her suggesting plots and lines, and me adding a bit of my own, so, we can say we wrote it together... :) hope you'll enjoy and will review it!

* * *

2.

At the zoo, he spends his time hugging Teresa, cuddling her, stealing kisses every time Jess isn't watching, even if, while thinking about his, their daughter, he has forgot something- he may behave around Jess, but there's someone else who's witness to his open display of affection (that Teresa doesn't mind at all), and those two are the parents of Jess' best friend forever, the slightly younger Christie, and are better known as the Rigsby's (thanks to his manipulative abilities, he has learned that they got all married around the same time, and around the same time Jess was born they had Christie, her mother's copy).

"Jeez, man, do you really always have to behave like newlyweds?"

"I do feel like we are newlyweds, my fried" As he answers to Wayne, Jane smiles, breathing again in Teresa's scent, nuzzling her neck with such affection that he really can't understand how he has survived until now without doing it. Whatever is happening right now, he is sure that, once come back to wherever he is supposed to be, getting rid of this addiction will be a hell of a problem. (Besides, he isn't lying, so he really doesn't have to act or feel guilty-he is a newlywed, in his own personal manner), and while Grace laughs, Wayne simply rolls his eyes, annoyed, and what happens next really takes Jane's breath away.

"C'mon, Wayne, we all know you're just jealous because you're not as perfect as Patrick as a husband!" it's not the laughter in her voice, it's how she sticks out her tongue to the big guy, making everyone laugh, Jane included.

"Geez, Woman, when did you turn into such a pixie? You always followed rules and regulations, always stack to them!"

Lisbon turns into his arms, and, rolling her eyes, but still smiling, she hits him playfully in the arm, more or less a pinch. "I turned, quoting you, in such a pixie, the day I agreed into dating you, you idiot!"

"And here there is the Lisbon I know again…" he tells her, while pinching in the same way her nose, like she was some kind of child, like he would do to their "daughter".

"Mummy, Can you come writing for us the name for the puppy tiger? The guardian says we can tell them how we want to call them, and if we'll be lucky maybe they'll choose the name we told them!" Jess cries with enthusiasm, standing close to a cage, looking at them with bright blue eyes, and, seeing her so happy, makes him wonder and think, think about another blue eyed child, a child who wasn't even 6 when she died, because, somehow, looking at Jess, during this morning, he often saw someone else.

He can't deny that, even if Teresa's DNA is present in Jess and visible, there's trace of him as well. The baby girl is his daughter, and it's not just from the eyes he can sees it, there are the small things, even how she behaves, and her features can cry as much as they like that she is Teresa's daughter, they'll never stop to say that she is a Jane as well, they'll never stop saying that Jess is Rachel's sister (_half sister_), that the two shares the same eyes, the same eyes that belong to their father.

"Patrick, are you all right? You don't seem yourself this morning….-Many things changed, he is sure of this, and, even if she is married, and to Rigsby of all, Grace is still the mature and adult one (because he was and is an idiot, Teresa melted and still melts to his eyes, allowing him to do as he pleases or, when she doesn't, forgiving him, and Rigsby is a big puppy a bit dense and Cho is too stoic for his own good and has to learn to communicate with people), and the way she is putting her hand on his shoulder to force him into confessing what is wrong, to makes him understand she is there and is willing to help, is quite a signal of how she is fitted for the role of the mum. – did you dream of, you know what I mean, right?"

"Yeah, well, if I have to be honest, it's just that… I didn't sleep that much, that's all, you know, with Jess' birthday and all… besides, I kept thinking about the day Teresa and I got married, and I'm not even sure why I had to see it over and over again in my head, this night of all…" He has never said "thank you" to his old man, but, right now, as he is looking into Grace and Wayne's eyes, he is quite glad he thought his son to be the actor he is, otherwise, he'd never learn of how things, in this… dream or whatever it is, went.

"You are getting sentimental, man?" Again, he can't help but smile seeing how Wayne is, well, smiling amused. The man not only seems a puppy, he seems a teddy bear, a giant, arson specialist, serial killer hunting, teddy bear…which is weird, because, with everything they have seen in their share of time, he should be everything but a teddy bear…

"Kind of" he simply replies, grinning, showing them his best mega-watt smile.

"Patrick Jane, I know that expression! You are planning something, don't you?" as he sees, and, mostly, hears, Grace's thundering voice, Patrick is quite glad that Wayne is so big, because, little precious Grace, when is so resolute, with hands on her hips, is quite scary, and if there's something he never thought he would have said, is that Grace is scary (but she is, therefore, marriage doesn't suite her as much as he believed)- and her laughing like a maniac husband seems a rather good protection against her fury.

"What? No! it's just that… - he tries to defend himself, as Grace gets closer and closer, angrier and angrier, like she had spotted him little lie – honestly, it just seems like my mind is working on his own lately… I'm not plotting something…"

"When did I hear that? Oh, Yes, I get it! – Wayne snaps his fingers, looking at Jane, still laughing, finding extremely hard to talk, like what he is going to say is the funniest story of ever – like when he asked the boss to sign few documents at 3 in the morning, when she was so tired she no longer saw the pen, and then, the next day, he told us our auditions had been moved to that morning, while his plan was to drag us in front of the judge so that he could surprise Lisbon with his proposal and the wedding – he takes a big breath, recomposing himself, hands in his pants pockets, a bit sad- man, it was just your fault I lost all that money to Cho. Honestly, who thought she was going to say yes? Personally, I was quite sure she wanted nothing more than killing you!"

"That's what I did? - He doesn't know why, but, somehow, he said it at loud, sand not just in his mind. To his own defense, he is so confused he can no longer think straight, but, with him being Jane, it's not like it will last, and how the façade falls, it comes back into its place – yeah, I mean, of course I did it, I know, it's just that, it's still unbelievable, right?" _Nope, it's definitely something I would do. It's my style, and, honestly, I'm quite sure even my Lisbon would say yes to such a sweet proposal…_

"Oh, lord, all the CBI still talks about it. I mean, can you remember Hightower's face when she found out you and Lisbon was married? And when Grace and I told her that, since you two did it, we wanted to do it as well? Man, best day of my whole life! And I was thinking, speaking of which, that…"

"Jane, you are not all right. What's happening? You know you can talk to me…" Grace sweetly tells him, forgetting about her husband's never ending series of stories, putting a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm ok…" he would try to keep the façade better, but, there's something that stops him, besides, Jess is walking in his direction, and again those memories are hunting him, making him regret the past, enjoying the present but also scaring him, to death.

"Daddy, mummy wrote the tiger's name for me and Kristie! We chose the same name, you know?" she says, throwing herself in his arms, allowing him to lift her so that they could be eye level, and, like the sadness had come, it leaves, because everything he needs to know is in his daughter's eyes.

"Oh, really, Jess, are you serious, but, it's great!"

"Yes! We asked the guardian to call her Jem, like the character from the cartoon!" The cartoon- he makes the math, and does his best to remember, because he is sure he saw something at Lisbon's place, if not this time when he went to see her, or maybe it's something she told him or something he eavesdropped, until he recalls something about a cartoon she sued to look at when she was a child, at the beginning of the eighties, something like Jem and the Holograms, or something in that line… knowing Teresa and how she tends to get sentimental, she passed her passions to her daughter…

"Well, that's interesting, but, tell me, Jess, do you want to know why you and Kristie chose the same name?" he asks her serious, a light in his eyes, a mischievous glint of happiness, and symbol of the great mind he possess, of how good he is in his job.

"Yes, daddy, tell me, pretty please with cherry on top!"

"Well, great minds think alike, Jess, and, your mum and I both have great minds, and Grace has as well, and we all passed our intelligence to you two…"

"But you and mummy never agree!"

"Well, mummy and I are the exception that confirms the rule, so it doesn't really counts for us, except for the fact that we passed our greatness to you, of course"

"Wait a second… you said… Jane, why did you just talk about Grace? I'm here as well, and I'm a state agent! And you shouldn't…"

And, as he listens to Wayne complaining, Jane mentally checks all the points he listed just few hours before, to see if anything changed at all…

First: he still doesn't understand what the hell happened, and, at this point, he is so desperate that he could even take into consideration the idea of afterlife, out of body experiences, time-travels or even parallel universes…

Second: he is married with his boss, Teresa Lisbon (in a quite unusual ceremony), has a child, Jess, with her, and he still works for the CBI- now, though, he has to add the mystery of Grace and Wayne married with a child and being their best friends…

Third: he has promised Teresa to protect, save and not hurt her a long time ago, when she was still only Lisbon, and he really doesn't see why things should change now, that a child, their child, is involved.

Fourth: Grace said something that seemed dangerously close to a revelation about Red John, but stopped, not daring to end it, or to clarify further.

This he knows for sure: wherever and wherever he is, Red John exists, or, at least, existed, and was his nemesis – the only problem is finding out whatever happened to him, because he is pretty sure he'd never even get close to Lisbon, was him alive. _But I can't have killed him, because, otherwise, I'd be in jail…_

Fifth: _I need to clear my mind and found out whatever happened in the last 5 or 6 years…._


	3. Chapter 3

Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just **_"write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed bu the light of reason..." _**(No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one fo the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).

All the merits for this story in particular, though, go to me and, especially, PetiteJ: she gaves me not only the prompt, but ended up as co-autor- she provided lines, and, moslty, plot ideas for all the times I was having a hard toime figuring soemthing out or havoing writer's block...

I'd like to say thnak you to beccarae21,3R1N14S,Jisbon4ever, silvermonkeyhunter, tsukimonse, thepower818,mbleiva24, marie-scr,LAurore, In The Name, beccarae21, Rising Star 13, TheMentalisGirl, Lygia Ford-Nothman,Agent Glory, Diamond Lily425, Sym64 for reviews, alerts, favoriting the story... I really hope I didn't forget anyone! (If I did, I beg your pardon)

And now, here we go with chapter 3...

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3.

As at least a couple of other times, the ones he actually remembers, Jane is leaning against Lisbon's veranda, closed eyes, enjoying the feel and the smell of the imminent early autumn evening, but, differently from those times, he isn't a guest any longer, but the host. _This is home, and this is my family. Teresa and Jess are my family. _ His eyes, for probably the first time in the day, fall on his left hand, and he starts to rub his white gold wedding band, something he hadn't done one single time, not one, and he can't help but wonder if it's because _this Patrick _is so used to this, that is now second nature to him being Teresa Lisbon's husband, or if it's because he already knows the answer to his questions-and few of them he hasn't already made them.

_I knew I was going to eventually move on, I knew that Monica and Rachel would have wanted me to move on. _And he knows that Lisbon has been part of those thoughts for a long time, the thoughts that inspired him to go on and survive, to embrace life instead of death and vengeance. He may not be ready to voice them yet, but the main reason he still stays on that sofa on the CBI bullpen is that the view of her office is great, and, mostly, he'll never admit, not even on his death bed, that she is the main protagonist of his dreams, where he is in front of the aisle and when he turns he sees her walking towards him, dressed in a white dream of silk and chiffon, or, in his "wedding nightmares", walking down the aisle towards the "hot mail guy". _And, instead of the perfect wedding she deserved, I gave her that pathetic excuse of a ceremony…_ he believes that he and Lisbon could have a future, or, at least, that's what he has always wanted to believe, but there was always one condition to take care of before to reach happiness again…

"Tell me, Grace, do you ever wonder how Red John plagued our lives for so long?" Apparently, even if lost in this whatever it is that he is tuck into, sometimes, just sometimes, his mind can still works, so, thanks to his "almighty mentalist abilities", like he has always liked to call them to annoy people (Lisbon and Grace) , he felt the incoming arrival of the redhead former rookie.

He knows Grace, because, even if he has always claimed that Lisbon was the translucent one, Grace was even worst. Grace was, is, transparent, there's nothing he could miss about her (and if she thinks he didn't know about her story with Rigsby, well, the woman is definitely wrong), and he doesn't need to turn and look at her to know she just walked to him because she is dead worried about one of her best friends. He knows how her eyes look without looking at them; he knows how her lips are closed without turning to face her.

"Jane, do you remember when you kept repeating us that you wanted nothing out of life if not killing and torturing Red John, do you remember what Teresa used to tell you, that she knew you and that you were going to chose life, even if you claimed the opposite? – the red head crosses her arms, and, even if they are close, they are not facing each other, because they are too lost in the scene in front of them, in Jess and Kristie walking towards the Rigsby's cars, ready for their first sleepover, never been so energetic, like high on sugars, while Wayne doesn't seem able to keep up with them, and Teresa, at his back, can't stop laughing, happy and radiant, proud of her little girl and sad because she is going to not have her all for herself, and when they finally say goodbye, Teresa runs back into the house, trying to hide her tears, trying to seem stronger, something he is quite used to- Jane, when you refused to kill him, you choose life, you choose to start living again, and believe me when I say that you healed Teresa as well. You saved her, Jane, in more way than one; you gave Teresa her life back…"

He turns to look at her, and he even opens his mouth, but can't really say anything, and it's not because he doesn't know what happened to "this" Red John, he can't talk because he can't really argue with that, because every word Grace said it's true, and it's not only about Red John or life in general, because, even if he loves the team like they were his blood, there's just one person he would always save, one person he would do anything for, and that person is, always has been, Teresa Lisbon, the same Teresa Lisbon he saved from one of Red John's associates, killing their only lead to the murderer, the one he helped in getting rid of an accusation of murder, the one he "rescued" when she was almost losing her job, because of him, the one he confessed about his nervous breakdown, the one he danced with after he hadn't danced for years with a woman in that intimate way, the one he forced to make a trust fall, the one he gave a pony to, the one he gave 235.000 $ worth of emeralds to, the one he forced to make a trust fall, the one he has always wanted to pose as his wife….

He really can't understand how, back then, he couldn't see that it was all about her, about making her happy, about being the one making her happy…

"Jane, you should stop questioning this. You should be glad for what you gained and enjoy your life.- she pauses, and finally faces him, putting a hand in her friend's heart, looking into his blue eyes, and Jane wonders how is it possible that two pairs of eyes of the same color ,in the same shade of green, even, Grace's and Teresa's, may have such a different effect on him- I've known you long enough to be able to say that you still think you don't deserve this, Patrick, but hear me out, you do. You are a good man, Patrick Jane, you didn't deserve the bad things that happened to you, they weren't your fault, and this happiness… believe me, Patrick, I know what I say when I tell you to welcome it at open arms."

"Yeah…maybe…" he simply says, not looking into her eyes, fearing that she could see something, something he isn't sure what it may be, so, he just scrolls his shoulders, like it was nothing, like it passed, like he could be back to the "old" Patrick Jane, the one they seem know, the one who built a family with Teresa Lisbon and overcame his personal ghosts and inner demons.

"C'mon Jane, I thought we man were supposed to have cold feet on our wedding day, not at the vows renovation! – Wayne interrupts in his usual way the moment, like the living teddy bear he is, smiling, happy, easy going, embracing Grace from behind, putting a sweet kiss on her neck as he holds her thigh – sorry to interrupt, but I finally managed to divide Teresa from Jess, and if we wait another minute, I'm pretty sure she'll kidnap her own daughter…"

"We're renovating our vows – Patrick states, looking in the void and not at the two in front of him, his voice low, and some weird part of his mind trying to register and elaborate the information- we're renovating our nuptial vows!" he almost screams, and, while Wayne is laughing so much he is breathless and has to keep his stomach, Grace is almost scared, because, as weird as Patrick Jane may be, he has never been that weird. The red head is seriously considering calling Teresa and telling her that that fight he got into the day before must have been worse than what they thought and that he should go to a doctor…

"Jane, you remember you've been married for almost five years, right? – She tells him, frantically, almost crying in desperation, as she hugs him, taking Jane by surprise, while Wayne seems to be witnessing something he sees quite often, and so he simply comes back to his car – and Jess is crazy to see her mommy with a wedding dress on! You can't have forgotten this, right?" Patrick really doesn't know if he simply is a sucker for green eyes in general, or only Grace and Teresa's ones have this effect on him, but he melts looking at her, at the tears almost leaving her orbs…

He closes his eyes, trying to remember exactly how Teresa smells, smiles, feels under his fingerprints, against his body, her lips on his own, and the image of the day they danced together appears in his mind: he understood many things of her, that day, by the way she was gripping at him, like she let it go, the way she melted against him…

"Teresa always wanted the classical white wedding – he simply says, still at closed eyes, trying to picture the moment in his mind, knowing too well that, is this real, he'll have to actually get to see it, and not only dream about it – and, with me being me, I had to behave as my usual, and I ruined her wedding fantasy… - he pauses, again, looking again at Grace, half serious and half joking – c'mon, Grace, I was joking, how could I forget my own wedding renovation?"

"It seems you are forgetting a lot of stuff, lately" she finally moves away from him, but her lifted eyebrows and corned expression, her concerned and suspicious expression, say it all.

"Oh, please Grace, you should know by know I like to play the role of the fool for you all!"

"I still think you are acting pretty weirdly today, Patrick, even Wayne noticed it, and as much as I love him it's WAYNE we're talking about here!"– She tells him smiling and blushing, even a bit shyly, just to come back to her concerned self, the one Patrick used to make fun of when they were both a bit younger and he was still a broken soul who didn't thought a tomorrow could exist any longer – Jane, today you've been so… off the whole day. I think you should consider seeing a doctor, maybe Stellar hit you harder than you thought…"

"No, no, that's not what happening, not at all – he says, trying to smile, but an uncomfortable smile, the one of a person who doesn't know if he should trust someone with an information, but not because he doesn't trust Grace de facto, only because he already knows she'll find it crazy and plain stupid, and, scratching the back of his neck a bit, he takes a big breath and decides to let it go, _maybe it will help me clear my mind, besides, it's not like I have to tell her everything… - _it's just, I don't know if it happens the same with you, that sometime you are so happy you think you are dreaming?- she smiles, nodding, the kind of smile that not only tells him she understands what he means, but what he feels right now as well, even if, he is quite sure of that, not as much as he'd like – well, that's kind of what's wrong with me"

"Patrick, there's nothing wrong with you, you're just human! – She tells him hugging and giving him a kiss on the cheek, whispering the last sentence before parting, a bit scared about the possibility of Teresa Lisbon, still their boss, listening to this conversation – I bet Teresa feels the same once in a while, even if she'll never admit it"

"It's just that – Patrick takes a big breath, his hands running through his blond curls, his eyes sweet and a bit sad, focused on the car where he can see two children playing together, singing and being happy – this morning I woke up, and when I looked over at Teresa and Jess, I couldn't help but wonder what I did to deserve them and the happiness they bring into my life – he almost laughs hysterically, crossing his arms, turning to face Grace, again not so serious any longer –you remember how I used to _misbehave at work, _right? I literally made Teresa's life a hell on earth! I mean, how many times did she get suspended or almost fired because of me? No, don't answer, it was a rhetorical question, and the answer is, I don't know because I've lost count! And she kept up with me, she married me, she gave me a child, and happiness! If I weren't myself, I'd never believe it; I'd think it's just the weirdest dream!"

"Patrick, please, you don't do this again, ok? – She sighs, exasperated, massaging her forehead, feeling a headache coming – the more you distance yourself from Teresa, the more she'll suffer, because you know how she always though she wasn't worth you... – _Teresa Lisbon thinking she is not worth me… pretty hilarious… - _Patrick, even if she never told me, I'm sure she fell for you the day you met, and… those long five years must have been terrible for her, being so close and yet distant to you, always thinking… being sure… you knew yet didn't care about her feelings, that the most she could aspire to was being second best to a killer! I can't understand how you could be surprised when she confessed you her feelings, how you couldn't understand why she decided to wait for Red John to be out of the picture…I still don't even understand because of what you did or what Red John did to her, when…"

"MUM!" As Kristie calls her mum from the car, shouting her name, she doesn't end the sentence, just nods, uncomfortable, and walks away, leaving Jane behind, both physically and emotionally.

_Teresa Lisbon, this Teresa Lisbon, loves me_, he thinks as he walks back indie the apartment, and this fact is something he was already aware of, but what it's new to him is another thing that could change his reality as well…

_Lisbon has been in love with me almost from the beginning of our partnership, but was scared to admit it…no, even worse, she though I knew and I was using her to get to Red John, she though I didn't care, that I though she wasn't worth it… how can she thinks that? I've always been the one trying to stay as far as possible from her because I thought I could only damage her, emotionally and physically, because I thought I was too broken to deserve her love…_

_"_Are you looking for something, Mr. Jane?"


	4. Chapter 4

Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just **_"write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed bu the light of reason..." _**(No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one fo the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).

All the merits for this story in particular, though, go to me and, especially, PetiteJ: she gaves me not only the prompt, but ended up as co-autor- she provided lines, and, moslty, plot ideas for all the times I was having a hard toime figuring soemthing out or havoing writer's block...

I'd like to say thnak you to everyone who review the last chapter and to all of you who put this on favs or alerts, it menas the world to me, really!

And now, here we go with chapter 4...

* * *

4.

"Are you looking for something, Mr. Jane?" as he hers Lisbon's voice, Patrick stops where he is, and, feeling what emotion is present in her voice, he turns to look at her, his wife, descending from the stairs towards the living room, _dressed with just the shirt she had this morning…damn, that woman really hates me._

"Ehm, well, I was looking for you, actually" he answers her gulping, with a tone resembling the one of the fool of the village, not the smart man he is.

"Well, glad to hear it, because I was looking for you as well- she whispers seductively, arms around his neck, trailing kisses along said part of his anatomy and biting his earlobe just to make her intentions clear; she is a bit disappointed when, instead of "embracing" this, he puts a bit of a distance between them, and, instead of searching her eyes or any other part of her body focuses his full attention on the pavement, but, still, she can't help but laugh a little, crossed arms, thinking that he is pulling one of his stuns as often, that, maybe , he is looking for a way to add spice to their ménage- what? This morning you couldn't wait to make me get rid of your shirt, and now that we have the house all for ourselves, you complain and refuse _this? _Let me tell you something, Patrick Jane, you are a weird man"

"Like you never knew it" he really can't help but smile, grinning, while saying so, because it's the truth, and it's astonishing how she decided to allow him to be part of her life even if he was broken and weird.

"Well, the fact that you were an only piece was what made me fall in love with you, so I think it can't be that bad… – she gets closer again, hugs him again, but this time, while she tenderly kisses her chin, there's no malice in her actions, and her smile is a bit sad – Patrick, something's wrong with you, I know it, and don't you dare to deny it, or I'll shoot you!" she again playfully hits him, again on the arms, regaining a bit of her happiness, but still breathing and inhaling deeply his scent as he kisses her hair, and Teresa, in that moment, feels his smile on his lips.

"Please, woman, you wouldn't dare. The worst you did back then was punching me on the nose, and right now you wouldn't dare any longer to fire at me, because our Jess loves her daddy too much!"

Frustrated, she again puts a bit of distance between them, crossing her arms. She has tried to lighten the mood, but Patrick is turning her cads on her, as always.

"Patrick, I'm serious, don't use your evasive crap with me. You know- she hysterically laughs, nervously- I thought we got over this a long time ago…"

"This?" he asks her, dumb, because he can't tell her why he is upset, so, since she doesn't know, she can't be upset about the fact that he isn't really her husband…

"This, Patrick, this, always hiding things and pretending we're fine…I thought we _were _fine, I thought we _were _happy, I thought you were happy with choosing me over Red John!"

She is crying right now, and she wants him to see it. Patrick just hurt her, and she wants to hurt him as well, just that, but… she wasn't waiting for Patrick to run into her arms, holding her against his chest, crying in her air.

"That's absolutely not the problem, Teresa. I was happy with you right before we got married, I've always been happy with you, right from the day I met you, and the only thing I've always wanted was to make you happy as well, but…"

"Buts, we're discussing buts and what ifs now?" She cries again, her hand running through her dark hair, leaving his strong arms, leaving his embrace, showing him only her back, because, even if he is hurting her, even if she wants to hurt him back because she is sick and tired of this charade and of little games and his antics, she is still strong and proud Teresa Lisbon, CBI SCU team leader, and she isn't going to allow someone to see her like that, not even her husband, especially Patrick Jane.

"DAMN, TERESA, I'M TOO HAPPY SUDDENLY! IT DO CREEP THE HELL OUT OF ME!" This time, Patrick is the one shouting, but, differently from his wife, he doesn't push away the person he is talking to, instead, he runs to Teresa, forces her to turn, palms her face with his own hands, and kisses her, all in the blink of an eye.

It's slow but yet urgent, full of passion but of love as well, tender but yet lustful, she can feels his tears mixed with her own on their lips, and it says everything without needing a word to be said at all.

When they finally part, she rests her head on his chest, and allows Patrick to cuddle her, whispering sweet nothings into her ear, while kissing her neck and her shoulder, keeping her firmly against himself, like she could be some kind of anchor to this reality, to his sanity, to life…

"Every night, I go to bed – she starts, without looking at him, skimming over his chest with her fingers, making small circles on his skin, burning it and marking him like not even the wedding band did – wondering if, in the morning, I'll wake in my old apartment realizing the last five years had been only a dream…- she cries, she cries all her tears, cries into her chest, the fabric of the light blue shirt suffocating the sobs, something nothing can do for him – sometimes you have to stop putting yourself at the centre of the world, Patrick, sometimes you have to understand you're not the only one suffering, the only one with feelings…"

"I know – he ménages to say between his sobs, holding her tighter and tighter- I know I'm not the only one suffering, but… you have to try to understand this, Teresa…. You say… you say I'm not the only one, but you… you are not the only one who fears that all of this will disappear after falling asleep… - he pauses, forcing her to look at him by lifting her chin with one single finger of his right, blue eyes locked into green ones – This morning, I saw you and Jess and.."

"That's it… you've been distant and weird the whole day…because… you had a bad dream? - _Ok, I knew Lisbon sometimes liked to behave as a normal person, and she even had a life, but this is crazy! _He lifts his eyebrows, open mouth and wide eyes as she lets it go of him again, a hand on her mouth, almost collapsing on the pavement so much she is laughing- and he was serious, it wasn't supposed to be like that _Besides, she said she understood…- _Oh, sorry, I'll recompose myself, you can go on now" but he can't really help but smile, but taking her again in his arms, he can't help smiling sweetly at her as she tries her best to stop laughing, or, at least, to her futile attempt, and every time he makes her a compliment, he signs it with a kiss on a different part of her body.

"It's just that you are so perfect – kiss- so beautiful – another kiss - so strong – yet another signature on her skin- so marvelous- kiss, more kisses, he is trailing kisses on her whole body, on her soft and pale skin, smiling and grinning on her skin, making her shiver, the good kind of shivers – and I was broken and hell-bent on revenge, and I really don't understand how I got you…"

"Are you trying to distract me from the main topic with this, Mr. Jane? – She asks, indicating the nonexistent space between them, but as he sees her smiling, he understands that it's over, the argument is resolved and that he is happy and he is happy for a reason – because this and the puppy dog eyes seem to scream avoidance to me."

He kisses her nose, and, positioning a lock of dark hair behind her ear, he takes a big breath, like to fix this moment in his memory. "I guess that… sometimes, it feels so unreal, too good to be true, I guess I just need someone to remind me that…"

She kisses him, quickly and sweetly, caressing his chest under his shirt, trying to make him realize it's real. _I don't care what it is, I don't want to leave this place ever again, because this is real, my feelings for Teresa are real, and I don't want to lose this, I'm not going to give Red John the satisfaction of having destroyed my life twice…_

And then, she talks, and between words she gives him butterfly kisses on his chin, cheeks, lips, nose, and forehead, neck… all the exposed skin she can sees and feels under her fingerprints, until the story is over.


	5. Chapter 5

Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just **_"write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed bu the light of reason..." _**(No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one fo the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).

All the merits for this story in particular, though, go to me and, especially, PetiteJ: she gaves me not only the prompt, but ended up as co-autor- she provided lines, and, moslty, plot ideas for all the times I was having a hard toime figuring soemthing out or havoing writer's block...

I'd like to say thnak you to everyone who review the last chapter and to all of you who put this on favs or alerts, it menas the world to me, really!

And now, here we go with chapter 5, the penultimate one (which is, moslty, set in the past)

* * *

5.

"Since I managed to make Worthington confess how he has killed his wife in order to get her money, in virtue of the fact that you had, instead, arrested her son and weren't listening to me yet again, I'd say that closed case pizza is entirely on you all this time" as he joins the rest of the SCU team inside the bullpen, Patrick Jane claps his hands, satisfied, grinning like the cat got the canary.

"We can't have closed case pizza yet" Rigsby's voice is broken, and he looks in the void, he seems lost and sad and desperate, and his teary eyes seem the ones of a poor lost puppy as the agonizing words leave his mouth.

"Lisbon's not here yet – it's Cho quick answer, and it would be his only answer at all, if Jane wasn't sending him a questioning look that screams that he'll never let it go of this if the agent will not talk soon – she went to the son to apologize"

"Actually, I'm a bit worried. Lisbon left two hours ago, and Richardson leaves just 10 minutes from here, she should already be back." Preoccupation is clear into Grace's voice as she hesitantly speaks, with her green eyes barely visible above the monitor of her computer.

"Richardson is eating her with his eyes since they met, hell, he didn't even stop while she was interrogating him. Let me tell you something: I bet he made his move, and now they are somewhere secluded having fun" Rigsby doesn't seem to register Cho's slightly changed expression (from relaxed to plain angry), nor he seems to understand that the look Grace is sending at his address means something in the line of "I'd punch you where it hurts the most if I was at your side", because he has just been too insensitive, because, even if Jane and Lisbon may not be aware of what is going on between the two of them, the team knows it too well, they know there's something between the two of them, that it goes beyond simple friendship.

"Have you tried to call her? – Grace mimics a no with her head as Jane asks her that – both cell and home, I guess – she nods – nothing from Richardson as well?"

"Yes, but we don't have his cell, so, maybe, he is just out celebrating" she clarifies, in professional tone.

"of course he does, with Lisbon!" there's really something about that man, Grace thinks, and wonders how she can still loves him, with him being so dense…

"No, she'd never do that, not this week, at least. Lisbon is a strong and devoted Catholic, even if she does her best to hide it, and like every good Catholics, she swims into the sense of guilt. She'd never allowed herself to be happy around the time of her mother's death. – Jane walks through the room, arms sometimes crossed, sometimes in his hair, sometimes in his pockets, sometimes busy scratching a little his neck, busy talking more to himself than to the others – she was already feeling guilty for her own reasons, then, she almost sent to jail an innocent. My hypothesis is that she is at her place, crying herself to sleep and stubbornly refusing to answer our calls.

"You are going to check on her" when he hears Cho's statement, Jane is already gone, in the elevator, in direction of the park.

While driving in his car, Jane was relaxed, sure that Lisbon was just a bit bad for the time of the year, but mostly fine, but when he reaches her apartment, he goes into shock. He gasps and his breathing is dying in his throat, and suddenly it is seven years prior all over again.

Without reading the note stuck on the door, without noticing the cross pendant accompanying it, he flies into the apartment, and the only thing he can think of is _if there's a god, he'll kill me her and now. _He almost collapses on the cold pavement in tears as he sees the bloody smiley painted on the wall- there's not her body, and he doesn't know if he should be relieves (she is still alive) or scared (he has her). There's something, though, made of flash and bones and blood, a head, a head that seems it belonged to a pony, and even if it's not _their pony, _the not-so-hidden message is not lost to him.

He takes a big breath, his brain finally deciding to catch up with him, as much as it could in such a situation, and without giving a damn about forensic, he tears the piece of paper away from the note, reading it again and again, until the words will be forever burned into his memory, until he'll live, just like the first time.

_Dear Mr. Jane, I've noticed that you've recently switched your attention to our beloved Agent Lisbon. I'm disappointed in you, I thought you learned your lesson a long time ago, I thought you had understood I'm the only one who's supposed to have your attention. But I was wrong, and now, of you don't want to see another person you care so much for dying, you'll have to do as I say. If you want to see Miss Lisbon again, alive, come, alone, where all it started and you'll face me if you dare… :) **[author's note: remember, even if I can actually make a red smily on Word, I can't here, so, let's imagine it's an actual smily and that it's red, shall we? ]**_

Looking at the smiley signature, Jane tightens his teeth, feeling the bile rising, and, without turning back, without closing the door, he runs towards his light blue Citroen DS, parked just in front of her apartment, the engine still running. _I thought it was going to be quick. I thought I was going to drive her mad and happy altogether, making her rolling her eyes. I was planning to lift her from the pavement, up into my arms, bridal style, and discharge her into the car, because I knew she was going to fight me over a night out. I wasn't planning this. It will be my entire fault, if she'll die, her blood will be on my hands… I killed my family, Bosco and his team, even Kristina… and now, Lisbon's life is in danger because of me… but this time, I will make no mistakes._

Jane already knows where he is going, and it's not the place where Red John stroke for the first time; the letter is about something more personal (otherwise, he'd never took Lisbon), the letter is about where it all started for them, the letter is about the place where Red John become his nightmare and nemesis.

Red John is in his Malibu home, and is going to torture Lisbon there, just the way he tortured his wife and daughter.

As Jane thought, the doors are unlocked and open, giving him a tail to follow- not that Jane doesn't know where to look; giving Red John's self-centered and showinistic attitude, he'll be in the same room where he left his trademark signature years before.

And, in fact, it's in the room that used to a bedroom that Jane finds him. the killer is giving him shoulders, busy admiring his "masterpiece" as he once called it, skimming over it with his right hand, no gloves this time, with the same 3 fingers he used to race the image, and from the way he inhales, Jane can sense that he is proud of himself, yet sad, because he thinks he'll never do something as good as this, something as perfect.

"Hello, Mr. Jane" he doesn't turn, but he doesn't need to. Jane knows that unaltered voice, he'd recognize him everywhere. He has met him already, more than once.

"Brett Partridge…" there's just a small hint of surprise in his voice as he recognizes the forensic investigator standing in front of him.

"In blood and bones – he finally turns to face Jane, satisfied, happy, proud, grinning like the maniac he is, his knife in his right – you don't seem surprised, Mr. Jane…"

"Oh, please, Brett, don't let my expression deceive you, I am indeed surprised that you and Red John are the same... I'm not surprised that you are a criminal, though. I've always told Lisbon you enjoyed crime scenes a way too much. But I have to say, it explains a lot of things. After all, we always assumed Red John was working from the outside in, while it was only what you wanted us to believe, since you were working from the inside…"

After years and years playing cat and mouse, they are finally facing each other, but Jane has come prepared, with a gun, ready and steady in his right hand. He hates himself for the mere thought of having to use a fire weapon, there's something about using them that disgusts him, and disgust and fear were what he felt when he had to take a life. _But I did it to save Teresa's life; I'd do everything for her._

In that moment, Brett shifts position a bit, revealing, on Jane's mattress, the form of Teresa Lisbon, and his breath dies in his throat. It doesn't help the fact that he can see she is still alive, her chest rhythmically moving showing she is still breathing, because the breathing is too irregular for her own good, and she is so pale… it's probably a miracle she is still alive, so many wounds, so much blood, and the monster is skimming over her neck with his dagger, grinning, his eyes locked on Jane, while Jane's ones are locked on Teresa's red nails.

"You see, Mr. Jane, if you now kill me, you'll get your revenge, but at what cost? She'll eventually have to arrest you, sending you to die in jail; she'll end broken hearted, you'll lose her, you'll be broken and unhappy and shattered, allowing me to win. But, if you don't kill me, I'll kill you, slowly, making you see what I planned for our Agent Lisbon… so, as you see, either way I win."

"What about I don't kill you and I don't allow you to kill us either? – Jane drops the gun, and, sure of him, starts walking towards the killer who poisoned his existence contrary to common belief, I like keeping myself in good shape, so I don't think I'll have too many problems taking you down. IF I'll need to, that is it."

"Really, Jane?" he laughs in his face, his arms wide open.

"Let's say he is not as stupid as you think"

They hear Cho's voice, and everything happens in a blur. It's in a blur that Red John turns towards Lisbon, his grip in the dagger stronger. It's in a blur that Jane jumps on him, it's in a blur they fight, their bodies melting, making even their best sniper, Cho, unable to find his target, it's in a blur their break the glass of the large window, falling from the first floor to the seaside, and it's in a blur that everything goes black for Patrick Jane.

**_(Present)_**

"When I woke up few hours later…- she says between tears- I didn't know what I was supposed to feel. I was relieved because you hadn't killed him, because he was no longer free, because he was in an irreversible coma so he wasn't a treat any longer, but you weren't' waking up, and I know I was selfish, but I needed you, and… and I so wanted you, Patrick…"

Without adding further words, Patrick kisses away her tears and .gently rubbing her shoulders he guides her on their bed; with Lisbon in his arms, he closes his eyes, and he cuddles her, limbs entangled.

He knows he can't fight Morpheus any longer, as comfortable as he is in her arms, but he hopes that, come morning, he'll still be dreaming.


	6. Chapter 6

Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just **_"write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed bu the light of reason..." _**(No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one fo the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).

All the merits for this story in particular, though, go to me and, especially, PetiteJ: she gaves me not only the prompt, but ended up as co-autor- she provided lines, and, moslty, plot ideas for all the times I was having a hard time figuring something out or having writer's block...

I'd like to say thank you to the people who wrote a review - Petrie is in the wigwam, InTheSnow, Brown Eyes Parker, Jisbon4ever, phoenixmagic1, LittleMender, lysjeloken, TheMentalistGirl, Diamond Lily425, Laurore, AgentGlory and mbleiva24; I'd like to say thanks to everyone of you, and the many others, who put this little thing on alerts or on favs.

But, mostly, I'd like to say thank you to you all, who keeps reading with patience, understanding that, since I'm not a mother language, English is sometimes still a bit hard for me (and PetiteJ shares the sentiment, we're on the same boat here). it means the world to me that you don't wnat to give up on me and my stories and that you appreciate them, even if I keep doing mystakes!

And now, here we go with chapter 6...aka the end!

* * *

6.

As he still refuses to open his eyes, feeling like he had just slept for the longest time, quite an unusual sensation for him, Patrick Jane isn't sure what made him abandon the land of Morpheus, if the noisy sunlight coming from the semi closed blinds, or the sobs of the person at his side, who's holding his right and kissing the back of it, and even if he feels miserable, he is quite sure there's nothing better than this feeling.

He remembers going to bed with Teresa, her telling him everything about how they had got Red John, so, he really can't figure out how he ended wherever he is.

The bed's cold and uncomfortable and it doesn't smell of cinnamon and it's not familiar, it smells of medications, and, besides, there's not a single part of his body that's not aching in pain, but, sill, when he finally ménages to open his eyes, slowly and reluctantly, is just to find in front of himself what he can describe with a word and a word only – **_a vision, _**teary and a bit foggy, but a vision nevertheless.

"Hello to you" he whispers smiling, trying to find the strength to take her hand in his own.

"Good lord, you scared me so much…- Lisbon leaves her chair, in tears, and in tears she flies at his side, and, standing on the bed, holds him against her chest, her chin resting on his curls- you're not allowed to leave my side any longer, you hear me?"

"Is that a treat or a promise, woman? – his voice is still a mere whisper, but there's no deny of the happiness in it, and he is smiling as he moves slightly so that he can kiss his wife, but when he does, just a quick peck, she doesn't answer, and, instead, just touches her lips in disbelief, red as a tomato, but still smiling, that wonderful expression never leaving her features, and Jane can't really understand why she didn't kiss him back- where's Jess?"

""Jess?" she is taken aback by his question, and tries to remember if there was a woman called Jess in his life, but, according to his file (that she red plenty of times), there's not a woman with that name that bears some kind of relation with Jane.

"Yeah, Jess, she is our…- and then, it's when realization hits him hard. Lisbon has been surprised when he has kissed her. Lisbon doesn't know who Jess may be. Lisbon isn't wearing a wedding ring. _Great, I just woke up from the best dream I ever had – _sorry, guess I hit my head too hard. Care to tell me what happened, because last thing I remember, was allowing you to arrest Worthington"

"Patrick, we arrested him 3 days ago, do you really don't remember what happened in the next 12 hours? - she cups his face in her hands, and he makes her sign that no, he doesn't remember, and Lisbon can't stop crying – Red John took me, Patrick, Red John… Brett Partridge… he tried to convince you to do as he wanted if you wanted to save me. He was in your old place in Malibu, but you didn't go alone as he thought, you were with the team, and when he saw Cho, he tried to kill me, but you have been quicker, and you rescued me, but you fell from the window, and he is an irreversible coma, and I was happy because he is gone, he'll never kill again and he didn't make you a murderer, but I was so scared, because you've been out for two days and…"

_Just how the Teresa of the dream told me things went. _Knowing now what happened, he holds her, answering to her embrace, even if he doesn't have so much strength, and his arms barely caress her own body; when he finally speaks, it's with a voice broken by tears.

"Lisbon, you are fine! I'm so happy to see you! You can't imagine how glad I am to be able to still hold you… I thought… I thought…"

"It wasn't real, Jane, the blood wasn't real. He just wanted to mess up with you. I'm fine; now calm down…hush, Patrick…"

"I though, I thought…."

"I know –she pauses, her words broken by her silent tears, as she keeps him in her embrace, rubbing his back gently – I thought I was going to lose you, Patrick, even if I never had you, I thought I was going to lose you…"

He smiles at her words, hoping that the dream was just the way of his subconscious of telling him that what he needs and wants is right before his eyes, so, driven by the strength of his own desire and passion, he kisses her, really kisses her, and she answers, she kisses him back like they are the only two that matter in the universe.

"You had me from the moment we danced to our song, Tess – he smiles, sweetly, truckling a lock of dark hair behind her year, looking at a not seriously wounded Teresa Lisbon busy giggling like a schoolgirl, and, smiling, before to end the sentence, he pinches her nose like his dream-self had done with his wife- Teresa, never question my love and devotion for you, ok woman?"

She rolls her eyes, and again she lets her chin rest in his curls, still soft and still smelling just like him, and it's smiling she gives him her answer. "I love you too, Patrick, and I'll never allow you to leave my side, and it is a promise."

As she keeps holding him against her chest, crying out of happiness into his curls, kissing them, Jane doesn't know that, in few weeks time, once free to move, he'll invite her over to dinner to the same restaurant he went with her years before, but this time with the clear intention of seducing her, as sophomoric as it may be. He doesn't know that it will take them just few months to move in together, in her apartment. He doesn't know that he'll propose to her putting an engagement ring into an origami rose, a ring in white gold and emeralds that compliment her eyes, he doesn't know that he'll stay in front of desk grinning like an idiot while she'll be speechless, and will answer him with just a kiss. He doesn't know that they'll get married less than six months later, on a beach, a simple but yet "extravagant" wedding, something that could definitely suits his "weirdness" as she calls it, but suits her and her wedding fantasies as well (there's no way he'll marry her in front of a judge, in a spur of the moment), he doesn't know only the team and their families will be present, that they'll be all bare feet, that she'll wear a long ivory wedding dress, simple and tasteful but yet wonderful, he doesn't know that they'll dance to their song, "more than words", or that, at the time of the wedding, Teresa will be already showing a small belly or that few months later they'll welcome into the world Jessica Emily Jane (he'll be the one suggesting the name), he doesn't know that, few days after Jess' fourth birthday, Teresa will announce the imminent coming of Patrick Thomas Jane Jr.

He doesn't know for sure, but, yet, he still has the memories of what he saw in his dream, fuelled by their shared confession of love, but, mostly he has a thing he holds onto with his entire hearth.

HOPE.


End file.
